Top 20: Bad Ass Movie Ladies (Part 1)

Today, Wonder Woman week continues with a celebration of action heroines. While yesterday list's focused on combat skills, today we're picking some of the fiercest and most bad-ass female characters ever to grace action movies. Since there are plenty to choose from today's list will pick a favorite out of categories, including cops, assassins, video games heroines, and more.

The Assassin: Fox from Wanted

Angelina Jolie's Fox is a lot like Jolie's own public image, soft-spoken but forceful, ready for action, and alluring. She also can bend bullet trajectories and and fire a sawed-off shotgun, while driving a car with her feet. While she spends most of the film operating as Wesley's teacher/torturer, Fox's true skills shine in missions as she stops bullets with shots of her own and even ramps sports cars into trains. If nothing else, Fox wins the day by being the most insanely skilled assassin ever put on screen.

Honorable Mention: Nikita from La Femme Nikita, Jane Smith from Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

The Video Game Hero: Alice from The Resident Evil Series

While her skill sets have ranged from insane telekinetic abilities, to gravity defying strength, to plain old marksmanship, Alice is the definitely the lady you want around when zombies come calling. Beginning as almost an innocent bystander, Alice has evolved into a resistance leader and den mother as the series has progressed, trying her darndest to stop the evil Umbrella corporation and keep as many of her friends alive as possible. 

Honorable Mention: Angelina Jolie's Lara Croft from the Tomb Raider series but Resident Evil's longevity helps Alice win out.

The Grindhouse Gal: Cherry Darling from Planet Terror

Cherry Darling may be a go-go dancer, but when a zombie outbreak comes to town she shows her resolve by leading her band of survivors to safety. She also has a machine gun leg with a grenade launcher and can mow down an armies worth of undead in a matter of moments. Whether she's dodging rockets with dance moves or tearing into zombies with a leg mounted minigun, Cherry Darling is a ridiculous and awesome movie heroine.

The Cop: Jessica Yang from Supercop

Michelle Yeoh did her own stunts in a Jackie Chan movie. I feel like that's all that needs to be said. But if you have to say more, Yeoh's Inspector Yang is a perfect cop. A fierce fighter than can match Jackie in hand to hand combat, fearless, and authoritative. But her defining attribute is her relentless will which keeps her in hot pursuit...even if it means jumping a motorcycle onto a moving train.

The Vampire: Selene from The Underworld Series

This leather clad death-dealer is the deadliest warrior in her world. Considering that her world is an everlasting war between werewolves and vampires, that's really saying something. While her allegiances have changed over time, Selene remains a fierce firearm and blade wielder who can take down any opponent, be it the lord of all vampires or the most powerful werewolf. And if she has to shootout a whole down to the floor below, all the better.

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Top 10: Female Fight Scenes

Happy Wonder Woman week everyone! This week we'll be picking out some of our favorite female characters and momentss in the traditional boys club genre: action movies. Today we're picking some of the best brawls featuring female combatants. *Note* This is not specifically two ladies squaring off, though that might happen, but rather a female hero facing off against a single foe or a collection of baddies.

Honorable Mentions: Trinity's introduction in The Matrix is awesome but more of a chase than a fight, Angelina Jolie's brawls in Salt are great but don't feature a stand-out throw down, and the Silk Spectre/Owl Man team-ups from Watchmen are slow mo fun but Spectre isn't the lead player.

#10 Ramonoa vs Roxy from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

While the majority of this film is Scott fighting on Ramona's behalf, the tables are turned when Scott is attacked by Roxy, Ramona's former girlfriend from college. With Scott too dazed imagining the two ladies together and uncomfortable hitting a lady, Ramona steps up with an oversized hammer to take Roxy down. What follows looks like a Tekken fight, including the neon dunked club, before switching the comedy kung-fu as Ramona moves Scott's body for him, before ending in the silliest fashion possible.

#9 Mallory vs. Paul from Haywire

Gina Carano's breakout role may be light on dialogue but it's heavy on fighting. In the fight that sets the whole movie in motion Carano's Mallor is double-crossed by Michael Fassbender's Paul in a brutal hand to hand brawl that works its way through a luxury suite. The fight is insanely well choreographed and shows off Carano's considerable combat MMA skills, but the lack of soundtrack really emphasizes the power of each blow.

#8 Leeloo vs Magalores from The Fifth Element

For most of The Fifth Element we've been told that Leeloo is a "supereme being" and is the embodiment of perfection. While the men onscreen agree that she's physically flawless, her considerable skill set is demonstrated in a one-sided fight against the violent alien race known as the Magalores. Furious at the murder of innocent civilians Leeloo leaps into action and begins an acrobatic and sometimes cartoonish beatdown of the Magalores. Oh and did I mention that this is all to a pop opera song sung by a blue alien, cause that's kinda awesome.

#7 Ripley vs Alien Queen from Aliens

While the fight is a tad clunky, the mother vs mother battle makes this list for Ripley's entrance alone. Firing off a classic catchphrase "Get away from her you bitch!" Sigourney Weaver's Ripley then grapples with the giant alien queen in a power loaded before pulling the old blow her out the airlock move.

#6 Black Widow vs Goons from Iron Man 2

Considering how much time she spents fighting aliens or killer robots, it's easy to forget how easily Black Widow can beat down other humans. But the scene that introduced her signature grapple based fighting style is a quick reminder. Tearing through male security goons with ease Scarlett Johansson's Widow easily dispatches all comers with tech, kicks, and the most casual mase spray ever...with a finishing pose after every KO. All the while, Tony Stark's bodyguard Happy flails against a single foe in the lobby.

#5 Rey vs Kylo Ren from Star Wars: The Force Awakens

This lightsaber fight is noticeably more messy than some of Star War's best, but it makes the cut for the power of its reveal and it's ultimate outcome. With Ren easily dispatching Rey and Finn, the Sith Lord looks ready to grab Luke Skywalker's lightsaber...before it goes flying into Rey's hands. The newly awaken Jedi then takes Kylo Ren to task and bests him before the dissolving planet separates them. Can't wait for their next round.

#4 Hit-Girl vs Mafia Goons from Kick-Ass

The dimiutive Hit-Girl deals out a lot of bloody justice in this flick but her best battle is furious close-quarters fire-fight between her and a hallway full of henchmen. With "Bad Reputation" blaring in the backgroud, Hit-Girl dual wields pistols in an acrobatic fashion and creates so much havoc in such a small span of time that the baddies go running for a rocket launcher.

#3 Letty vs Riley from Fast & Furious 6

Hollywood's go to tough girl Michelle Rodriguez and the aforementioned Gina Carano go toe to toe twice in this Fast & Furious sequel and their first encounter is easily the best. As Riley initially gains the upper hand with technical prowess Letty works her way back thanks to scrappiness and intensity as Justin Lin's camera follows every blow. It's also perfectly juxtaposed by Roman and Han getting their asses handed to them by one man.

#2 The Bride vs The Crazy 88 from Kill Bill Vol. 1

This movie is chalk-full of expert fight scenes, often between two women, but the masterstroke from fight choreographer Yuen Woo Ping has to be the gonzo hack and slash centerpiece to the first Kill Bill. After besting her target's bodyguard and some of her top lackeys, The Bride then takes on an army's worth of thugs single-handedly. The blood flies in buckets as our heroine chops through limbs, swords, and bodies up and down the restaurant. My personal favorite moment? The Bride break-dance leg slicing to "Nobody But Me."

#1 Yu Shu Lien vs Jen Yu from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

In terms of skill, staging and story it's hard to beat this one on one battle versus Michelle Yeoh's experienced Yu Shu Lien and the Zhang Ziyi's young upstart Jen Yu. Looking to stop Jen Yu from escaping, Yu Shu Lien uses every weapon at her disposal to gain the upper hand as Jen Yu is consistently saved by her powerful sword The Green Destiny. And yet, not a word is spoken. The scene is flat-out stunner with lightning quick weapon work from both actresses and speaks volumes about each character. A high water mark for stunt work and fight work as storytelling.

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Split

There was a time when a bad movie could kill your entire career. Make one notorious bomb and you're blacklisted for life. Nowadays, studios and the public are a little more forgiving. One bad movie isn't enough to sully a good actor's reputation, or kill a popular character, and struggling writer/directors can find their saving grace by going back to their roots. People will still go to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson movies after Baywatch, Spider-Man can be rebooted almost immediately after his last reboot, and M. Night Shyamalan can make small scale thrillers suited to his skill set that earn money and critical acclaim. So today, we look at Shyamalan's apparent comeback: Split.

The movie begins with the kidnapping of three young girls by James McAvoy's Dennis. However, once the girls begin to take in their surroundings, it becomes clear that their captor has multiple personalities, 23 to be exact, and that a small faction of these personalities are preparing for the arrival of a monstrous 24th personality known as "The Beast." Fighting against time and an unpredictable captor, the girls attempt to escape and find help before the "The Beast" is unleashed.

So a quick disclaimer regarding the film's portrayal of Disassociative Identity Disorder or DID. I have no idea how accurate this is. My impression is that multiple elements of this still highly controversial disorder are altered for the sake of the plot, but I can't say that with certainty. I will note that presenting someone with DID as violently dangerous is a bit irresponsible, considering how most people sufferng from mental ailments are victims of violence rather than perpetraters, and the film could've spent more time digging into the trauma that created this condition rather than the "bad personalities" taking over. I was able to watch to watch this as fiction, but I understand that many view this film as irresponsible or misrepresentative.

That said, Split is an excellently crafted thriller. One of the reasons so many of Shyamalan's more recent movies have failed is that they are drenched in mythology, needlessly complicated, or are built around a twist, instead of having a twist that suits the story. Here the premise has inherent tension. The girls are danger with an unstable captor and there's an undefined but limited amount of time to escape. Thus the main parts of the story are about the girls attempting to escape with their captor's back story and motivations getting filled in as it goes along.

The premise does wonders because it not only makes the situation feel more unpredictable and dangerous, but also keeps leaving bread crumbs about what might be ahead in the film's finale. Saying much more will give up the game, but the movie does a great job at piquing the audience's curiousity and giving you just enough information to keep you interested. The premise also means that logical missteps by the competent villain feel less like writing errors and more like natural happenstance.

Granted the premise doesn't work unless you have an actor that's up to the task and James McAvoy hits a home run. McAvoy has always had the talent to drift between dramatic and comedic roles but rarely has he had a chance to let it all hang out in a single film. At one moment he's full of quiet intensity, another he's being amusingly and irritatingly childlike, and then turns on the intimidaton when needed. It's great stuff.

There are a couple of missteps. Despite advertising 24 different personalities, the film focuses on four or five main personalities for the bulk of the film, and I'm unsure if I even saw glimpses of ten. It's a litle disappointing because some of the personalities get a bit irritating after a bit, which isn't helped by the film's two hour run time. If you go close quarters thriller ninety minutes is the magic mark in my book.

Likewsie, the back story for our main female protagonist is....ugly. I won't say what it is, but there are far better ways to show the audience that her life has prepared her for situations like this than what Shyamalan came up with. This feels trashy. I also wanted a litle bit more about our villain's backstory, perhaps make humanize him a bit more, but that's a slippery slope that can turn a scary villain boring.

Pulpy, simple, and thrilling, Split shows that Shyamalan still has film-making talent to spare and gives James McAvoy a chance to shine. Check this one out.

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Reel Talk: No Boys Allowed: Why Women Only Screenings Make Sense

A week before its release the biggest controversy surrounding DC Comics and Warner Bros. Wonder Woman is....a movie theater policy. Yes a bunch of people lost their collection shit this weekend as the Alamo Drafthouse announced that they would be holding female only screenings of the feature. Admittedly, when I first heard this there was a twinge of me that felt like this was unfair...you know before I went "oh right, sexism and rampant inequality is totally a terrible thing that women deal with all the time and this is a nice thing to do for the female audience of the first big budget female superhero movie." But, even if this was another female led comic book property, I'd still be ok this, and here's why.

Geek Culture Has A Massive Gender Problem

Almost every aspect of geek culture has a substantial set of female fans, be it gaming, comics, movies, books etc., especially now that elements of geek culture have become mainstream and not niche properties. However, despite years of dedication and genuine interest female fans are frequently treated with suspicion and derision.

Women are treated like imposters in their own areas of expertise at a frighteningly high rate, with brush off comments like "you're not a real nerd," or "gamer girl." Add in elements like a female led film at a movie theater chain that serves food and drinks and you've got a cocktail for potential disaster as a fella with two drinks begins making comments about how "none of these girls would even be here if this was Wonder Man!"

As such, a female only screening means women can watch the movie unharassed and in peace, without their motives or even their interest being questioned. And maybe just maybe feel empowered.

Men Only Clubs Exist and Have Existed Since Civilization Began...These Are Movie Screenings

Hey guys. You know that feeling you got when you heard you aren't allowed to go a specific screening for a movie you really wanted to see, and might have to go see it at a time different time instead? All of that rage and anger, that brought up because you weren't treated the same as someone else? Yes I know you're really irritated by this minor inconvenience. Can you imagine if you had to deal with stuff like this day in and day out from the time you were a little kid? How awful would that be.

I know that entire section was extremely sarcastic, but here's my beef. This is one event. It's meant to be empowering to the women who will attend, not a punishment to men. Even the staff for these screenings will be entirely female. It's a unique and cool experience that's almost unheard of for female movie-goers celebrating a movie I'm certain many of them have been waiting their entire lives to see around equally enthusiastic women. 

And in spite of all of these good intentions, a ton of interest from women (apparently the screenings are selling-out rapidly), and plenty of opportunities for men to see the film at other venues or at other times at the same theater chain, this is a world stopping example of discrimination against men. As I said earlier, I understand the impulse, but my mild inconvenience pales in comparison to how awesome it will be for women young and old to cheer Diana as she fights against and perhaps inspire the younger ones in the audience that they can do anything.

And all I have to do to guarantee that experience for a lucky group of women is watch the movie another time? Push back my screening as long as you like. It's worth it.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest & At World's End

While, I, like countless other movie goers, am a little sick of the perpetual franchise factory that Hollywood has become, there are times where I wish the filmmakers had a clear direction for future films ahead of time. Case in point are the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels whose plots are so scatological and convoluted that they feel like they were written as one movie, stretched into two, and then someone forgot to go back and edit accordingly. Granted the excitement level was so high after the first film that nothing was going to stop these two movies from making money, because if the Matrix sequels taught us anything it's that quickly rushed out sequels to a film that was a breath of fresh air always work...(god I wasted so much hope on sequels in the 2000s). Regardless, saying that the Pirates sequels can't match the original is hardly a revolutionary statement, but the real question is why didn't they? Well let's find out.

Taking place shortly after the first film, Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann's nuptials are interrupted by a vicious East India agent looking for Jack Sparrow. With their wedding in the balance, Will and Elizabeth begin concurrent missions to track down Jack. Jack, however, has troubles of his own as the horrifying Davey Jones and his monstrous Kraken is looking to reclaim a debt. Soon Jack and company will begin a battle against Jones and the East India company with the pirate way of life in the balance.

The Story is All Over the Place and Needlessly Complicated

I alluded to this in my review of Curse of the Black Pearl, but the stories for the sequels are some of the most needlessly dense movies I've ever watched. It feels like a new character, back story, or mythological element is introduced every other scene at some points. 

Hey this is Davey Jones and he has a debt he wants to collect from Jack! Oh ok great, we've got another magical pirate for Jack and company to face that should be... And he's got a Kraken! But he's already an immortal pirate with a magical ship why does he need a gigantic monster? And he's got Will's dad with him! But....why? And in the next one we're gonna have a pirate council! You have literally never inferred that this existed or that anyone we know would be a part of it. And then they'll band together against the East India company, who controls Davey Jones now! Good God. And on and on it goes.

All they really needed to do for this movie was reuinite everyone, give them a new mystical challenge, and let the movie write itself from there. Over-explaining and over-complicating simply kills the magic.

The Tone is A Roller Coaster

At World's End features the hanging of a child. To put that into perspective this series began with an old man telling a young girl spooky stories, a young boy being saved and Jack Sparrow entering port on a sinking ship. That scene would never work in The Curse of the Black Pearl and that's kinda the problem.

Sure there's plenty of wacky action scenes involving spinning things, seriously try to remember how many action scenes in Dead Man's Chest are centered around things going in circular motion, but Dead Man's Chest ends with Jack Sparrow presumably dying after being betrayed by Elizabeth (in an act that makes Will think she likes Jack romantically). That's what the second movie left audiences with before having Barbossa show up for no apparent reason.

I'm not saying maintain the action/adventure vibe is eay

The Movies Abandons Plot Points Without A Second Thought

Remember how imposing and scary the Kraken was in Dead Man's Chest? Kinda freaky right? Well you better get your fill in the second film because the next time you see it it's dying on a beach. Seriously it's just gasping for breath on a beach dying because apparently it's been worked to death. There's not even a cut scene that explains it. The biggest threat in the Pirates universe goes down due to unsafe working conditions.

There's so many loose threads that never get true resolution. Such as:

• If Elizabeth is a pirate chief now, how does she simply get to retire on beach with her baby. Doesn't she need to pass off responsibilities?
• How exactly does the sentencing for the Flying Dutchman crew work? Does they serve and then truly die? Does anyone die for real in this series?
• How the hell did Davey Jones conjure the Black Pearl? Is the ship magical?
• Where does Elizabeth get money now that she's not a pirate and her government worker dad has died?
• Why does the second movie spend so much time building up this supposed sexual tension between Elizabeth and Jack, only to have her laugh it off in the third movie?
• Why does Calypso's arrival just mean the creation of whirlpool?

This could go on on and but you get the point.

As far as sequels go, these two certainly have their moments and some wonderful production values, but the magic is certainly lacking the second and third time around. Dead Man's Chest and At World's End may expand the Pirates universe, but the hodgepodge writing and bloated mythology are a weight that drags these movies to the depths.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Unless you live it, it's hard to explain how unexpected the success of the original Pirates of the Caribbean film was. Here's a massive movie, based on a Disney World ride, with Johnny Depp, a former heartthrob turned indie movie darling, in the film's showiest role. And yet, The Curse of the Black Pearl wasn't just a hit, it became a phenomenon, especially once the film was released on DVD and home video. But after years of subpar sequels and disturbing revelations from Johnny Depp's personal life, you could be forgiven for thinking that audiences just wanted to see pirates in 2003. So today, we begin our mad dash through the Pirates series with the beloved original to see if it still holds up over a decade and a half later.

The movie follows Elizabeth Swann, a governor's daughter, and Will Turner, a blacksmith that was rescued from the jaws of death after a pirate attack in his childhood. Though unspoken passion remains between them, things come to a head when Elizabeth is taken by Pirates of the mysterious Black Pearl. Now to save his lady love, the upright Will will pair up with notorious pirate Jack Sparrow.

Despite how much life has been drawn out of this series from the sequels, the original movie remains an almost pitch-perfect distillation of swashbuckling adventure. It's big movie full of great characters, plenty of jokes, great action beats, and an undeniable sense of fun. So what's the glue that holds all of this together?

Simplicity

The Curse of the Black Pearl works as well as it does because it's plot is simple. Will wants to rescue Elizabeth and enlists Jack Sparrow's help. Sure there are inherent challenges presented by the undead pirates under Barbossa's command and the British forces hot on Jack and Will's tail, but the central goal is save the girl from the bad guy. Thus, all of the other exposition and mythology merely fleshes out the relationships between the characters or explains their motivations. It means that the audience remains invested in the outcome, without getting bogged down by backstory.

The Story Doesn't Center Around Jack Sparrow

Jack Sparrow may be the Black Pearl's best character, and yes when this first came out this was the boldest and most innovative take on a character you could imagine for a $100 million movie. But the reason Jack works so well in this film is because the story isn't about him or his motivations, it's about Will and Elizabeth. As such Sparrow is something of a delightful wild card whose motivations, actions, and competence are all up in the air. He's someone who saves Elizabeth from drowning, and then puts a gun to her head. Or perhaps he runs like he's on a balance beam from gunfire, only to best swordmaster Will in a duel. This mess of contradictions works best the less about his background that we know and when he can play off of situations and people, and this is the only film that does that.

The Movie Maintains A Sense of Humor

There are dramatic moments in this movie, but there aren't any moments dark or scary enough to bring down the film's energy. Every big action scene is full of comedic moments, Will's broody tendencies are consistently undercut by Jack's clowning, and even the scenes that will scare the children are punctuated by jokes. It's the action/adventure dynamic that so many self-serious movies, even this movie's sequels, fail to embrace.

Verdict: Less Fun in Retrospect But Still Good

While over-exposure may have soured some folks view of the original Pirates film, The Curse of the Black Pearl is a simple, polished, gem of a movie that remains entertaining..because that was it's only goal.

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Top 5: Roger Moore James Bond Moments

Well the hit parade for sad celebrity deaths continues. At 89 it's hard to say that Sir Roger Moore's death is tragic, but he's remained an amicable public presence for years, and lacks the unsavory reputation of some of his other Bond compatriots (a la George Lazenby and Sean Connery). While his career included tons of television and a number of films where he didn't where a tuxedo, Moore's signature role is James Bond. For many Bond fans, he was the 007 they grew up with thanks to his extensive run with MI6 and the home video revolution that broke out during his tenure. Even if you found his films campy, there's no denying that Moore was the most easy-going and upbeat Bond of the bunch. So in his honor, today's Top 5 will be the best moments from Sir Roger Moore's run as James Bond. *Quick note* As great as some of the stunt work is during Moore's tenure, I'm mostly focusing on moments Moore is more directly visible and involved in otherwise we'd have the gator run from Live & Let Die and the Union Jack from The Spy Who Loved Me.

#5 Every. Single. Quip.

The one-liners have been a James Bond staple since the role originated, but Roger Moore was the king at delivering every single one with detached bemusement. Even this article barely scratches the surface of the ridiculousness that Moore delivered with a straight face. 

#4 The Death of Blofeld in For Your Eyes Only

The signature Bond enemy during the Connery years seemed to be a lingering thorn in the series side, as old school fans wondered "Where the hell is Blofeld!?" That question was asked and answered in this cartoonish action sequence, where Moore's 007 encounters and kills the SPECTRE head...in the opening credits. It's so silly but also kinda of a great middle finger to hardcore Connery fans.

#3 Duel to the Death from The Man With The Golden Gun

While Bond has always met his final foe face to face, they rarely seem like a worthy adversary. But Christopher Lee, in both presence, menace, and competence, fit the bill as Scaramanga. Pitted against his foe in a duel, Bond and Scaramanga take their paces before a tense game of cat and mouse on the villain's island lair. It's far more intimate than almost every other Bond and definitely memorable...minus the extra nipple business.

#2 Shot it Into the Woods from Moonraker

Being a cool customer was always Moore's greatest Bond asset and this scene uses it perfectly. Meeting with Hugo Drax on an apparent hunting trip, Bond tries to get a read on his foe and takes up a hunting shotgun...and apparently misses. That's at least what the audience thinks until a deceased hidden sniper falls from a tree and Bond calmly takes his leave. Cool as hell.

#1 James Battles Jaws from The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker

The entire arc of Jaws from these two Bonds films seems to sum up the Roger Moore era perfectly. Initially Jaws was another impenetrable henchman, a giant with metal teeth to serve as Moore's Oddjob. A man who was fed to the sharks after a pitched battle...and ate the sharks. However, by the end of Moonraker Bond had changed Jaws' mind, along with a woman's touch, to abandon his henchman ways and take a more heroic path. The silly optimism that made Moore's Bond popular in the first place. Rest in Peace Sir Moore.

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Top 5: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson Funniest Movie Moments

At this point, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson may be the most popular man in America. He's got a popular T.V. Show, is a box office titan in multiple genres, and could very well run for President with Tom Hanks as his running mate in 2020...and win. But perhaps the most underrated element of Johnson's appeal isn't his physique but his sense of humor. So since Johnson is about to hit theaters again, and hopefully will bring the laughs, in Baywatch here are five of Johnson's funniest movie moments.

Honorable Mentions: Johnson's cameo roles in Reno 911: Miami, The Other Guys are both phenomenal but not substantial, and the odd couple comedy pairing of Sean William Scott and Johnson in The Rundown is certainly amusing but Johnson is playing the straight man role there.

#5 The Prison from The Fate of the Furious

This movie is still in theaters, but the cartoon absurdity and one two punch of Johnson's imposing Hobbs combined with Jason Statham's British scrapper Shaw make the most entertaining scenes in the entire movie. Initially separated by cells, the former cop and criminal exchange barbs (while Johnson does bicep curls with a rock bench that was attach to the wall) before an apparent jailbreak. With hell breaking loose all around them, Johnson tears through guards and inmates like mild irritants including beanbag rounds that bounce of his chest. It's so silly and so awesome.

#4 Office Chaos from Central Intelligence

No scene captures Bob Stone's (Johnson) inability to read the room and the situation than his evasion from federal forces in Calvin Joyner's (Kevin Hart) office. Beset by C.I.A. agents that believe Stone is going rogue and Joyner is his accomplice, the mismatched duo work towards opposing goals (Stone to escape and Joyner to escape Stone) in a furious firefight. It's the action/movie version of what happens when your kinda friend can't read your social cues and it's tons of fun.

#3 Stapler Incident from Get Smart

The straight-laced delivery is what sells this moment. Sidelined due to a blown identity, Johnson's Agent 23 is put on office duty...and make take it a bit too seriously. When he confronts a coworker about a jammed printer, the coworker laughs off his demeanor, until a staple gets lodged into his head. It's a simple physical joke, but Johnson's stone faced reaction to the entire incident is what sells it.

#2 "You're Welcome" from Moana

Johnson's Maui is almost the antithesis of his public persona, minus the braggadocio and muscles, and that's perfectly exemplified by his introductory song. Believing Moana has come to give him praise for his past deeds and save him, Maui begins a self-congratulatory diddy detailing his many accomplishments, before not so stealthily attempting to steal Moana's boat. There's been critics of The Rock's singing voice, but this is easily one of the funniest and bounciest Disney songs in the modern era. 

#1 Conversion & Interrogation from Pain & Gain

The Rock rarely gets a chance to play someone unhinged, lead hero roles typically don't allow for it, so seeing Johnson as a coked out Jesus freak in this Michael Bay dark comedy is easily one of the my favorite things ever. The scene is question is essentially a monologue as Johnson's Paul Doyle interrogates and attempts to convert his bound and gagged prisoner. The wild mood swings and lines like "Jesus Christ himself has blessed me with many gifts! One of them is knocking someone the fuck out!" make this the hardest I've laughed at Johnson onscreen.

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Reel Talk: DC Disservice: The Lack of Advertising for Wonder Woman

Considering all the of the flack they've gotten from critics and fans for their Superman and Batman movies, you'd think DC and Warner Bros. would be chomping at the bit to gain any ground against the Marvel stalwart...like I dunno the first big-budget solo female superhero movie? And yet with only a few weeks before its release, the advertising for DC's Wonder Woman is almost nonexistent. Minimal TV ads, almost no online promotion (and I'm their ideal audience member), and barely any product related tie-ins ('cept your Diet Dr. Pepper, you didn't let me down).

Frankly, it doesn't make sense. In an industry that's all about generating buzz and eager to celebrate something different and progressive, Warner Bros. is sitting on their hands and trying to let this film's potential audience do the ground work. Why? Well...you know why. It's sexism. Whatever the assumptions by executives are, or the reasons they're giving for essentially hiding one of the summer's biggest movies are all motivated by outdated thinking. So today, I'm going to take down any potential argument against advertising this movie out the butt.

The "Traditional" Audience Is Ready and Not What You Think

The supposed target audience for a movie like this is well defined. It's....well it's me. A straight white male that likes cool things like sports and superheroes and hopefully falls between the ages of 18 and 35. Someone that goes to the theater to see almost every comic book movie. But the opinions of this audience are very limited. The assumption is that this entire audience only wants pasty white men as their heroes and damsels and sexy ladies as side characters. Because dudes are the only people that like comic books and there's no way these folks wanna see a movie about a lady. 

Except that's not accurate at all. Tons of women see comic book movies and plenty of the men want to see more inclusive representation. It's the same logic that's been killing the video game industry for years even as more and more women pick up controllers. Advertise to the lowest common denominator and if you can't do that, don't even bother. It doesn't matter if hardcore Marvel fans have asked for a Black Widow movie since The Avengers, or how much money The Force Awakens made with a female lead. Just stick with what we know or do nothing at all. Unless there were some other locations that would be perfect for other audiences....

If You're Worried About Bang for Your Buck, Branch Out

Honestly if you want Wonder Woman to get bang for its buck, advertise the same places Lionsgate did for the Hunger Games movies. Places where diverse audiences, and especially women, can see Diana kicking butt and taking names. You won't get every young woman or parent of young mom's attention, but letting them know that a female superhero is in town is an angle that should be played up, not hidden. Hell advertise on every DC Superhero show on the CW, every hour. That's your target audience anyway. The audience is there you just need to go looking for it. But maybe the movie is bad you say. Well...

If The Movie Is Bad, You Want People There The First Weekend

By now, DC should know that bad reviews do not kill a movie. Hell if that were the case Suicide Squad and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice wouldn't have made money. But they did! The only way a bad movie can kill you is from worth of mouth sharing from the audience. It's been studied to death but what truly kills a movie's profits is bad word of mouth after opening weekend. Hell, you can see a dip in the expected Saturday and Sunday crowds, if it's bad enough. So even if the movie is terrible, which I certainly hope it isn't, you want as many people in the theater on opening weekend as quickly as possible. But they need to know when it's coming out.

This Should Be A Triumphant Celebration

With Wonder Woman DC and Warner Bros. are breaking new ground that's a big deal from a cultural standpoint. And instead of leading the charge and taking up slogans like "hit like a girl" or a series of clever puns about being lady-like (I literally have thought of too many to list), the studio isn't advertising. Perhaps because they don't have faith in the audience, or the film, but either way they aren't giving this movie, this character, and this event the attention it deserves, and that is truly a disservice to the film and Wonder Women everywhere.

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