XXX: The Return of Xander Cage

At this point, Vin Diesel has narrowed down his career to series. He most famously heads the Fast & Furious series  (a billion dollar international sensation), the Riddick series (a famously underperforming sci-fi series with a character Diesel loves), and now he's return to XXX, an unconventional spy series he last starred in fifteen years ago. While this sounds like a disaster in the making, Diesel and company got my attention with the film's supporting cast. Apparently learning from the success of Fast & Furious, Diesel has filled this film with international stars, ramped up the ridiculous in what How Did This Get Made?! affectionately called Vin Diesel's "$100 million handjob" to himself. How could this go wrong?

As the title indicates, the movie begins with the legendary Xander Cage (Diesel) being brought back into the government fold after an unknown team of agents (led by Donnie Yen). Motivated by the death of his former mentor and the lives that will be saved should he succeed, Cage assembles a team to take down the dangerous agents before they unleash hell on the world.

The Return of Xander Cage is easily one of the most bananas movies I've watched this year. And I mean that in the best possible way. Much like the Fast & Furious franchise, this movie plays like an unintentional parody of action movie nonsense turned up to eleven. Physics be damned. Logic be damned. Just turn off your damn brain and enjoy the ride. Also start creating a drinking game immediately. It's that kind of movie.

The best comparison I have is a Roger Moore James Bond movie where the lead is a little bit too old to be portrayed as this stunt master sex machine but still makes tons of bad jokes and innuendo. Likewise, the set pieces here are not going for logic, i.e. there are motorbikes that turn into wave runners in the middle of a chase scene, but rather a "I always though this would be cool...we should put it in a movie!" approach.

The other holdover from the Fast and Furious movies is a diverse cast including two solid female roles, and a number of Asian film stars including Tony Jaa and Donnie Yen. Donnie Yen is easily my favorite part of the movie, not only because his action scenes are excellent, but because he knows what kind of movie he's in. He's larger than life, always has a big grin on his face, even in the middle of fight scenes, and looks like he's having a ball. Likewise, it's fun to see Tony Jaa as a wild-card-esque member of his team.

Special notice also has to be given to Toni Collette for delivering garbage dialogue like a champion as Diesel's new government contact. Much like Yen she knows what kind of movie she's in a consequently goes for broke in the best possible way.

The faults of this movie, aside from the obvious ridiculous action movie tropes of the plot being nonsense and everything being absurd, center around the film's leading man Vin Diesel. I think Diesel likes to view himself as a Bond-esque charmer, but that's not really in his skill set. He does soft and brooding far better than he does quip machine. The also grinds to a halt when it's delivering exposition or giving Diesel a chance to "turn on the charm" instead of putting him in an action scene. Granted the movie is barely long enough for you to care.

Brainless but also oddly progressive and fun, The Return of Xander Cage isn't an action classic, but it's a perfect drinking movie with friends.