Kingsman: The Secret Service (Revisited)

In yesterday's Fight Work, I allued to Matthew Vaughn's skill set as a director which is taking a familiar genre adding elements of anarchic dark comedy and enjoyable set pieces and as such I'm hoping Kingsman: The Golden Circle has more of the same. But how did we get here in the first place? Today we're going to revisit Kingsman: The Secret Service for a refresher course.

The movie centers around Eggsy Uwin (Taron Egerton), a bright but trouble-prone youth who wonders what happens to his dad. But when Eggsy uses a token to get him out of a tight spot he crosses paths with Harry Hart (Colin Firth), a member of a secret group of skill spies known as the Kingsman who also owes Eggsy's father a life debt. Eager to see Eggsy reach his potential, Harry sends the young lad through the service's rigorous training, while he attempts to track down a madman intent on thinning the Earth's herd.

So this sounds like every James Bond movie ever, you might be thinking, what on earth made this movie so appealing? Well it's the James Bond angle and much more.

Baby Bond...but R-Rated

While there's plenty of violence, sex, and times to utter bad language, the James Bond films have always had a PG to PG-13 filter to them. No F bombs, no blood, no matter how messed up the situation is or how many guy Bond is mowing down. Kingsman says screw that let's kick it up a knotch and have a young gun do some of the heavy lifting too. It's a great contrast because while Eggsy's journey is all about becoming a gentleman, all of his actions for his gentlemanly group are...basically murder. It's a joke the movie is happy to lean on for most of its runtime.

Great Actors Getting To Let Loose and Have Fun

Colin Firth has played two different versions of Mr. Darcy and won an Oscar for portraying English royalty. Samuel L. Jackson career defining role is one where he carries a wallet that says "Bad motherf***er." I'm telling you this because this adds meta enjoyment to watching Colin Firth shoot people in the face and Samuel L. Jackson play a Bond villain with a lisp who vomits at the sight of blood. These are crazy choices that the movie embraces and it's all the more fun for it.

Matthew Vaughn's Action Scene Acumen

I've already broken down why this movie's signature church massacre is awesome, but Vaughn isn't a one trick pony. The movie is full of stylish violence in bright colors including some of the training sequences, Eggsy's own massive shootout, and the henchwoman with blades for legs played by Sofia Boutella is one of the best Bond foes that never was.

It's All For the Sake of Fun

Sometimes how a film is shot can tell you everything you need to know. The color schemes, how bright the scenes are, this all sets the tone for the film and tells the audience the directors intent. And every frame of Vaughn's Kingsman tells us this is all for a lark. The colors are bright, the scenes are well lit, nearly every moment of seriousness is undercut by a joke. Hell a portion of the finale is a fireworks display of heads exploding. None of this is meant to be taken seriously and because the movie tells us this from the get go we get to turn off our brains and enjoy the silliness. Who's ready for round 2?

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Fight Work: Kingsman: The Secret Service's Church Brawl

With director Matthew Vaughn you now what you're going to get. An offbeat take on a familiar genre with plenty of laughs, Mark Strong will show up somewhere as will amazingly choreographed action sequences. Despite a small filmography as a director, Vaughn has put together an impressive collection of action blowouts including Hit Girl and Big Daddy's rampages in Kick-Ass or Magneto and Azazel going ham in X-Men First Class. But his crowning action achievement has to be the massive church shootout/brawl from 2015's Kingsman: The Sercret Service.

The Setup

After spending most of the film tracking tech baddie Richmond Valentine, Kingsman Harry Hart follows a tracking signal to a small hateful church in Kentucky. Convinced Valentine isn't in attendance, Harry attempts to leave. But when Valentine turns on a device that amplifies aggression and murderous brawl breaks out and Harry unleashes his incredibly lethal skill set.

Why It Shouldn't Work

A running theme of Fight Work has been how each of the scenes work really well in the context of the film. Sometimes it's meta-text, and sometimes it's the joy of our hero finally coming into their own. There is an emotional investment in the battle. This scene doesn't have that. Yes the audience wants Harry to survive and the audience should see what Valentine's device can do but there's no reason for a scene this expansive or violent. And yet.....

Why It Works

The Setup Eliminates 'Innocent' Victims

From the second their minster speaks, it's clear that the church in question is an analog for the Westboro Baptist Church. Why is this important? Well it's kinda a major bummer to have your hero murder a bunch of nice people in a church because a "go kill crazy" signal got pumped into their brain. That is, unless the audience already kinda sorta wants these people dead. Now I'm not for murder, but if we're talking people that picket soldiers funerals with posters that say "God Hates F****" there's a part of me that's ok with them not being on the planet anymore. It's not morally right, but when a brawl for survival breaks out, we're not going to be too shook up by Harry's killing spree.

Manners Be Gone

By this point, we've gotten the impression that Harry is like James Bond on steroids...but we've never really seen him cut loose. He's very reserved and proper. As his saying goes "Manners maketh the man." So seeing him unleash every skill set in his aresenal against an army of assholes is really satisfying. Gun play, gadgets, stabbing, fisticuffs, a grendae (just 'cause). It's the kitchen sink and the kitchen of Harry's moves all thrown into one scene.

And it also plants the seed as to what Eggsy might be capable of once he graduates from Kingsman training.

Stellar Action Choreography

Matthew Vaughn is a natural when it comes to staging action scenes, especially scenes that blend martial arts and firearms (see Kick-Ass). The reason his scenes work is because this blend is so fluid. It's a lot of cool looking moves, one after another, that looks awesome when they're paired together. There's nothing logical about posing while you fire a pistol, but if it looks a martial arts pose and works for our hero, yeah that's pretty awesome. Mix it up with some blades, punches and keep the camera far enough away to see Hary's every move and you'll keep eyes on screen. And if you pair it with other action film tricks...

Long Takes (Or At Least Looking Like It)

It takes a lot of effort to properly stage a long take in an action scene and you need to make sure your actor can do it. Thankfully Matthew Vaughn knows how to make this scene look like a long take. There's a lot of small moments for cuts, a gun fires at the frame, someone's body jumps in front of camera, but it never takes away from the flow of the scene and makes it appear as if Colin Firth is wrecking people in a seamless string of movements. It makes Harry look even more bad-ass and once again, puts us in his point of view.

Ramping, POV, and Sound

Ramping is the film technique used in a number of 300's battle scenes. You play things at a normal speed, slow things down before a big blow and then speed things up again. Like any action scene technique it's been grossly oversused but Vaughn is smart enough to blend it with other tricks. In particular the scene does a great job and putting us in Harry's POV. 

The camera follows his motions, be it a reload or pulling out a gadget, so even if we don't see every blow or take in the chaos around we feel like we're thinking the same things Harry is thinking. Before he pulls his flame thrower or grenade, we already know what's coming next, so get to briefly anticipate the move and then get to set it come to fruition. Oh man someone's about to tackle Harry! Will he dodge it or stab him in the face? The entire scene is a series of small build-ups and payoffs that either speed things up, slow them down, or move the camera to keep us guessing.

We even hear things as Harry does including the post-grenade sound droning as his ears recover, which oddly enough includes the song chosen for this fight scene...

Free Freaking Bird

Classic rock tracks are some of the most overused elements in filmmaking but how perfect is the "Free Bird" solo for this scene? The blistering guitar work matches the scene's chaos. The fight work seems to speed up and slow down as the battle does. Even the church like organ cue before the carnage starts. Everything feels timed together like the most brutal dance number you've ever seen. It's this attention to detail that takes a mindless show of violence and makes it into a showstopper.

The Extra: Cartoonish Brutality

Kingsman's unique take on the James Bond model is less about its setup (aka a bunch of nobels tested into secret agents) but taking campy Bond antics to R-rated places. And in this case that means goofy levels of violence. Lots blood of semi-gruesome deaths one after another. It's actually cringe-worthy in some spots and if nothing else its memorable.

Verdict: Unneccessary but Endlessly Watchable

The setup for this massacre is completely contrived at best, but Vaughn's mastery of action film-making (be it staging, sound, or camera work) means the audience never dwells on it enough to care. Can't wait for more of the same.

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Reel Talk: Adapting Screen to Stage

Before Hamilton became a national phenomenon, Broadway fantatics were noting the surge of movie-based musicals. Much like movie fans consistently complaint about a lack of originality, Broadway fans voiced a concern that producers and developers were simply looking to cash-in with non-Broadway audiences with hastily put-together shows based on popular movies. I can see both sides to the argument. On one hand your show isn't going to have a lot of tension if your audience knows every line of the film by heart. But on the other, some films almost work better as musicals. How? Well today we're going to break down the elements that make or break a movie to musical adaptation.

Step #1: Choose Your Source Material

This is where ninety percent of movie to musical adaptations will lose their potential audience. Some films simply shouldn't be adapted because the production values are nightmarish/impossible to recreate, the material is not musical ready (aka no one wants to see a depressing musical), or the idea sounds silly. No matter how hard you try, Rocky the musical will not get butts in seats.

So what material does work? Well, it tends to be in one of three categories.

Pre-Existing Musical Films

These are the most obvious films to adapt. They have most of their music written before you even start, and audiences already know the material. Disney has made a killing doing precisely this with shows like The Lion King and currently Aladdin. Hell you can even adapt a movie with a iconic soundtrack and rearrange it to fit the plot (aka Footloose). Admittedly you'll need to think up some changes and work really hard on original staging (more on this later). But the bones of your show already exist.

Silly Comedies

Farcical comedies, aka non-stop almost never serious jokefests, are some of the best movies to adapt into a musical from a tonal standpoint. Everything is light-hearted and scenes are played for laughs so adding upbeat songs fits snugly within the narrative. An underrated element however, is how a lot of these films are prone to montage or physical comedy set pieces that are perfect places for songs. 

The scene of Steve Martin falsely claiming that he cannot walk and then using the power of love to take his first steps is a fall on the floor exercise in physical comedy from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels that is perfectly captured by the song "Love is My Legs" in the musical. Likewise, a montage with heavy undercurrents of sexual tensions when Adam Sandler's character assists Drew Barymore with wedding planning is turned into a song called "Not That Kind of Thing" for The Wedding Singer stage show. 

These movies are already larger than life representations of their premises so adapting them for the Broadway's big stage works nicely.

Small Indie Dramedies

This might be my favorite route to take. You have a film with an appealing hook. You take its small setting and staging and blow it up into a big time musical comedy. You still get the advantages of the plot being written for you, but because the source material is obscure the audience won't care if you take massive creative license.

Like the premise of Kinky Boots, a small town shoe factory pairs with a drag queen to make specialized heels and save their jobs? Great. Take the indie film values and blow it out into a bright, colorful celebration of acceptance and fantastic footwear.

The best thing about these movies is that they have a unique hook that'll get butts in seats and the same beats as a farce with just enough drama to truly move the audience. Waitress opens as an unconventional romantic comedy but is utimately a story about female empowerment and mother's love. The Full Monty is centered around average joes stripping for money, but the is truly about a group of men uniting to push past their insecurities and provide in a new way after losing their blue collar jobs. There's an emotional honestly to the material that connects.

Step #2: Choose Your Changes...But Keep The Charm

Changing a movie into a stage show isn't always a natural transition. There are natural beats to a musical that don't exist in every film and depending on your material you'll either have to limit or expand your production quality. Based on your approach you also might have to change the material.

Pre-Existing Musicals: Made A Unique Stage Show

The Lion King is one of the best examples on how to do this right. The film is so grand and epic that trying to matching its visuals, especially with human actors, is a fool's errand. What they did instead was cast predominantly black actors and include some of the most intricate and difficult costume work you've ever seen. I've seen this show get applause breaks and "ooohs" and "aaahs." Not every show needs to be so distinct but if the crowd knows the story and music coming in, you need a new hook.

Silly Comedies: Find A Throughline

While Monty Python and the Holy Grail is one of the funniest comedies you'll ever see there's no thematic throughline for any of the characters. It's a series of anarchic gags loosely based on King Arthur and that's it. Thus for Spamalot there are a number of new plot elements that are introduced. Arthur is given a romantic storyline with the Lady of the Lake, and gives them an honest to goodness female character, Lancelot comes out of the closet, etc. They are small changes but it also means the show doesn't end as abruptly as the film does and the audience feels all warm and fuzzy after their two hours of laughter.

Indie Dramedies: Lose the Subtely

Indie movies tend to be smaller both because they are a realistic approach to the medium and they have smaller budgets. This means that the jokes are less obvious, the drama is muted, and emotional moments are conveyed visually and through score. Dimly lit rooms where someone quietly weeps to themselves come to mind.

Obviously when you've got people in the balcony who can't see every small facial tick you can't afford that. This means brighter colors, physical and bombastic acting, and of course our next step songs for the most important moments.

Step #3: Write Your Songs

This primarily applies to the Silly Comedy and Small Indie Dramedie routes since, as we mentioned they already have a show's worth of music at their disposal. You might need to add a couple of songs, throw in a reprise or two, but the majorit of your material is there. If you're writing songs here's a couple of tried and true rules to follow.

Rule #1: Expand Characters

Because film is so intimate and the audience typically sees the reactions of the actors in exceptional detail, character introductions and expansions tend to be comparatively smaller than the stage. The thoughts and feelings of these characters is predominantly subtext, and never said aloud. But in musical adaptations you can go for broke and have what I've dubbed "character defining songs."

One of my favorite examples is "Who I'd Be" from Shrek. In the film we know that Shrek has been shit on his entire life and doesn't seem to have any ambitions. But in this song in the musical we see a different side. He's had fantastical dreams of heroism, but it's clear that life has beaten them out of him, and that his friends (Fiona and Donkey) empathize with his experience. 

You can also do this for side characters, a la "(The Legend of) Miss Baltimore Crabs" from Hairspray which gives Velma a showcase and a detailed history to her lifelong pursuit of being awful or "History of Wrong Guys" expansion of Lauren's unrequited love in Kinky Boots.

It's a unique method for musicals, but it's one of the few dramatic genres where you can have a character turn to the audience and go "Here's my motivation, back story, and feelings!" so use it!

Rule #2 Emphasize Transitions

Be it an emotional turning point or major plot transition, the biggest moments in your musical should have a song to accompany it. Ideally these are also some of your catchiest tunes so the audience can really grove and remember it either between acts or after the fact.

If your lead is debating a consequencial decision, like Seymour debating whether or not to feed people to a hungry plant in Little Shop of Horrors, a song like "Feed Me" is perfect.

Maybe your group is coming together, a la Dewy Finn's classroom forming its band for the first time. Well let's roll out "You're in the Band."

Remember those montages we talked about? Time to write a song! Every big moment in your musical deserves an accompanying song.

Rule #3 Match the Moment

This is probably the hardest thing to do in any musical and not every songwriter can do it. Your dramatic songs need to hit like anvils, the celebratory songs should be full of life, and the funny songs should make us laugh because nailing those moments is crucial to the cohension of the show.

For musicals with songs but odd placing a la Footlose and Once, this about framing the songs in a place that makes sense. "The Girl Gets Around" doesn't fit as a song on the road, but framed as a song about male chauvinism and bragging, it works.

You should also have a style that matches the material. The Wedding Singer is pure fluff as a musical but the music matches the material's eighties vibe. You can't make a musical out of Kinky Boots that sounds like The Sound of Music.

One of the most recent trends, that I kinda like, is to get female pop musicians to write the songs. Frequently their own style is eccletic enough that they can nail these transitions and styles without straining their experience. Waitress' Sara Bareilles combo of piano pop/rock and ballads means she can shift from songs like "Opening Up" to "She Used to be Mine" with ease. Likewise, Cyndi Lauper a musician who wrote "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and "Time After Time" for the same album can bring the disco funk of "The Sex is in the Heel" and slay ballads like "Hold Me In Your Heart."

Like everything else, the music should match the material.

The Key: Amplify What Makes the Movie Work and Make Your Show Engaging

While accusations of an unoriginal show are bound to come up, the key to a successful shift from screen to stage is simple. Keep the original's appeal and add in some hooks. And in some cases, the film will become an after thought...

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Top 5: Harry Dean Stanton Roles

Harry Dean Stanton was the epitome of "that guy that was in that thing." A universally beloved character actor with a handful of starring roles and career ranging from the late fifties to this year's revival of Twin Peaks. Seriously check out his IMDB page and prepared to be amazed at how many movie you've seen this guy in. He was a man beloved like cult directors like David Lynch and John Carpenter and truly up for any intriguing material that came his way. Thus, to honor him and his 91 amazing years we're picking five of his best roles.

#5 Brain from Escape from New York

If you needed someone who's presence says world weary and possibly knowledgeble Harry Dean Stanton was your guy. And if said guy needs to be a savy survivor with a history with Snake Plissken on a prisoner inhabited Manhattan? All the better. Though he doesn't get much heavy lifting action-wise, Stanton's Brain gets plenty of banter with our lead and distinguishes himself as a likable wise-ass before the film's end.

#4 Brett from Alien

Much like Stanton himself, this Nostromo crewman was soft-spoken and went about his job. He's also the first crew member to see the xenomoprh in its final form...before being killed. Again this is a smaller part but what I like most about it and Stanton's performance is that he treats everything like it's his pain in the ass job.

#3 Bud from Repo Man

Speaking of world-weary fellas with pain in the ass jobs, Stanton's turn in the cult classic Repo Man is all of that and more. However while his other characters were quiet or grumbly types, Bud is a cursing machine that introduces Otto (Emilio Estevez) into the fast and dirty repo business. I feel like everyone meets someone like this at their first job and Stanton nails it.

#2 Jack from Pretty in Pink

Probably his most memorable mainstream role, Stanton once again brings working class charm to Pretty in Pink's struggling father. Clearly struggling financially and reeling from his wife's unexpected departure, you'd think Jack would be more bitter and unsupportive. And yet, he isn't and actually the delivers the titular pink dress to his daughter just in time.

#1 Travis Henderson from Paris, Texas

Stanton didn't get much attention in the spotlight, save for this memorable starring role. Opening with his mysterious appearence from the desert, the movie follows Travis as he attempts to reconnect with his brother and child before searching for his long lost wife. It's a role all about subtley until the emotionally shattering finale, that makes the audience wonder if Stanton is derranged, mentally ill, repressed, or simply broken by life. And the payoff is equal parts heart-breaking and heart rending. Rest in peace Mr. Stanton.

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Fight Work: Casino Royale's Parkour Chase

The James Bond series is known for a number of signature elements. Gadgets, sexy women, enough martinis to kill the average man, and a collection of impressive chase sequences on boats, skis, bobsleds, cars, planes, and every vehicle in between. For over five decades, we've watched James chase and be chased by faceless goons through land, air, and sea. And yet, possibly the best 007 chase scene of all time takes place on foot in Daniel Craig's first go as Bond: 2006's Casino Royale.

The Setup

After earning his 007 status, James Bond has been sent to observe and capture a bomb maker with ties to terrorists in Madagascar. Though Bond maintains his cover, as he watches his target at a snake fight, his fellow agent gives up the game by touching his earpiece. Now tipped off, Bond's target Mollaka bolts and James begins to pursue the suspect on foot through a crowded construction site and embassy.

Why The Scene Works

Foot chases can be the most boring scenes in an action movie. They're usually incredibly straight-forward, don't look impressive on film no matter how fast people are running, and don't have enough ups and downs to thrill the audience. The majority of Hollywood footchases add a ticking clock, i.e. a bomb that has to be outrun or difused in two minutes, specifically to add tension to a visually uninteresting scene. But this scene is a masterclass in action film-making that not only excites the audience, but sets the tone for Craig's entire run as Bond. Let's find out why.

Some Series Context: Buh Bye Campy Bond

As Daniel Craig famously said in an interview regarding the darker tone of his Bond run "Austin Powers f****ed us." While that's certainly hilarious, and a fair point since those films did point out the Bond films' biggest foibles, plot-holes and camp, the Bond series was a bit lost before Craig's arrival. Pierce Brosnan had been a respectable actor for the part, but his films could never find intriguing villains and were heavily reliant on the "one man army" (i.e. one guy taking out scores of nameless bad guys).

And here comes Craig's Bond. A physical specimen with a natural intensity who's capable of doing far more stunt work on his own and with frenetic one on one fight scenes against skilled opponents. Just try to imagine Roger Moore's Bond pulling this scene off, even in his early years. It's damn near impossible. Combined with the unique thrill of seeing that, yes that's Daniel Craig doing this or that stunt, this was a breath of fresh air for the franchise.

Freerunning/Parkour Used Correctly

Parkour or free-running (aka that stylish jumping and running around office parks you see people do in YouTube videos) was a thing that Hollywood briefly became obsessed with in the mid-2000s. It became such a joke that one of fans' high points from Punisher: War Zone was seeing Frank Castle blow up a parkour messenger mid roof-flip.

And there's a good reason for that. Namely that many films featured parkour just for the sake of parkour and showed off all the style's sweet flips and jumps like they did for bike and skateboard jumps in the early 2000s. They're moments that truly take the audience of the experience and remind them, oh right I'm watching a movie, and laughter or frustration quickly follows.

The reason it works here is because it looks and feels efficient rather than stylish. The leap over a table? Efficient. The jumps from floor to floor? Impressive and efficient. Hopping through a small hole above a wall? Efficient (especially when that wall doesn't have a door...yet). There's no question that Mollaka performer Sébastien Foucan is an amazing stunt person, but without proper use of his talents this scene would be unbearable. Mollaka's skill set also serves a second purpose...

Shows Off Bond's Resourcefulness and Determination in Fun Ways

One thing Bond films have been very guilty of is making the lead character something of a godlike entity. Put him against an army or give him any vehicle and he's somehow able to get out without a scratch. Whatever weapon or vehicle Bond gets his hands on, he's the very best at it. Which is why a return to Bond's resourceful and determined roots is so welcome.

It's fairly obvious that Bond is at a physical disadvantage against his opponent. Mollaka is faster, clearly more agile, and even has a gun as his disposal. But Craig's Bond is basically a terminator in this scene. He misses jumps his target makes, but shakes it off. He finds machines to counter his comparable lack of agility. He even runs through a plaster wall his opponent had just pulled himself over.

And that's just at the construction site. Once in the embassy, he essentially holds an entire squadron at bay with careful placed shots and blows and finishes the scene by shooting his way out of an impossible situation. I wouldn't go so far to call this scene realistic, but compared to previous Bond chases this is far more grounded and believable.

One of the Best Bond Moments Ever

One of the coolest moments in this chase is a brief fight sequence between Bond and Mollaka as the two trade blows on a crane. The works wonderfully because it presents unique challenges regarding balance and restricted motion. It also features one of the best Bond movie moments ever when Mollaka, attempts to fire his gun at Bond, who has just pulled himself up. When its clear that the gun is out of bullets, the villain defiantly throws the weapon at Bond...WHO CATCHES IT AND THROWS BACK AT HIS FACE!

And somehow that is every bit of Craig's Bond in one moment. A guy with a perpetual middle finger towards the world and anyone in his way.

The Little Things: Gorgeous Wide Shots and Great Choreography

Bad action film-making is usually afraid of wide shots and long takes. Keep the cuts quick and up close and everyone will believe they're seeing something impressive. Trouble is, your eye has trouble putting the pieces together into a comprehensive image. Sure that guy may have hit that guy, but I'm not entirely sure where he hit him, how hard hit him, what part of his body he hit him with, or where they even are. It looks like a dirty basement.

Which is why the wide shots, especially the circling shots and the shots of the jumps on the cranes are a delicious treat for action movie fans. Not only can we see everything that's going on, but it also highlights the danger and impressive nature of the stunt work. Now when they zoom in, and the two fighters start going for each other's legs we already know why that's trouble: it's an awfully long way down. It gives context, tension, and geography for the scene.

The fighting itself is also well done with Bond demonstrating training in martial arts, proficiency with firearms, and the aforementioned spacial awareness. Speed is also crucial since the fight is fast enough for the moves to look instinctive and reaction rather than staged. No slow haymakers that kill the scene's pace. Just a flurry of blows and grapples before the frenetic chase continues.

These are small elements but these are what make a conceptually interesting action scene into a engaging cinematic experience.

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King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

The go-to studio logic of the day seems to go as follows. Find a property that's either public domain or already purchased by your studio. Create an origin story for a shared universe. Throw at least $100 million at it to make it look shiny....And then act really surprised when the resulting movie bombs with critics and with audiences. Today's victim of said treatment is King Arthur and the legend of Camelot in Guy Ritchie's King Arthur: Legend of the Sword.

The movie opens with siege of Camelot by Mordred, a powerful sorcerer. Though the good king Uther Pendragon wins the day, there's more evil afoot. His brother Vortigen is about to make a devil's bargain to usurp his brother and take the throne. But there is hope. Uther's son Arthur survived Vortigen's attack and could wield the kingdoms greatest weapon: Excalibur...if he accepts his destiny.

Legend of the Sword is the epitome of a movie that would be better if it was twenty times worse, and thus more bonkers fun, or played to the directors strengths. Instead we've got a movie that has no real idea of what it wants to be.

On one level we've got a Guy Ritchie action comedy with Charlie Hunnam's Arthur operating as a local gangster and brothel owner, who unknowingly runs afoul of Vortigen's military and subsequently outs his lineage. And this stuff...works surprisingly well. We've got a bunch of locals with funny names like we did in Snatch and Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrells. A lot of street justice, jump cuts, and cons. It's all the best Ritchie hoodlum stuff.

But then the movie slams into a completely differet tone which is th Arthurian tale of destiny and his refusal to accept his lineage and divine right while coming to grips with his past and oh my god did they make The Lion King but less engaging? Let's see murderous uncle who kills off the dad using a shady deal. Check. Kid goes into exile where he lives an entirely different life and ignores his lingering memories and royal destiny? Check. Oh hell we've even got a magical guidance character that forces an intereaction with dearly deceased dad and a spirit quest across dangerous terrain before he climbs a tower to take on his uncle and wow. Subliminal or intentional that lines up waaay too well.

This tonal dissonance works against the movie when it aims for epic set pieces, which Ritchie has never had a feel for. You can feel his comfort level stretch as soon as the combat exbands beyond stylish street brawling. He never knows what to do with the big CGI except mass destruction or some slow-motion panning shots that didn't look good in the Matrix Reloaded and still look weird now. It also doesn't help that Ritchie isn't comfortable with a bright color palette and instead ops for a grey finish on the entire movie. Seriously check out the screen shots in this review, they all look exactly the same.

Sadly there are elements to this that I like if they were developed further. I like how Arthur's band appears to be multi-cultural and his decision to assume power for the sake of the people (i.e. take up the mantle and help your diverse friends because your white lineage of power has the ability to make change). I could even get behind the film's Dynasty Warriors approach to battling. You know where most of the people are cannon fodder but then two or three warriors with supernatural powers show up to wreck everyone's face and can only be taken out by each other. There's appeal to that.

I even like the casting including Jude Law as the villain, the type of role he's always more interesting in, Charlie Hunnam fits well into the hoodlum fun, and Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey makes the most as the Mage.

Sadly none of these fun elements or characters get enough development to make the movie interesting. There's entire threads that are unexplained plot devices. What is the creature that Vortigen is constantly working with? Where's the mythology of Excalibur? Why aren't we talking more about Mordred? Who cares, let's cut back to Arthur not wanting to take up the throne even though it's clear that Voritgen is totalitarian jackass.

Though not unwatchable, Legend of the Sword is too unfocused and unoriginal to truly entertain. Skip this one.

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Top 5: Darren Aronofsky Movie Moments

Writer/director Darren Aronofsky is a master of haunting movies you never need or want to see again. After breaking out in 1998 with his black & white psychological thriller Pi, Aronofsky has covered the uplifting topics of drug abuse (Requiem for A Dream), death (The Fountain), obsolencence (The Wrestler) and slowly losing your mind (Black Swan). The only outlier in his work is 2014's which despite being an unconventional take on the material is still Aronofsky's most mainstream work to date. But not it seems like he's eager to creep us out again with mother! psychological horror film with Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem. In preparation we're picking the director's five best movie moments.

#5 The Finale from The Fountain

The Fountain is certainly a flawed film, with is multi-narrative structure either being difficult to follow or so heavy-handed it's hard to take seriously. But it achieves some special in its final moments as our space-traveler (Hugh Jackman) finally accepts his and his late wife's eventual fate in a rush of poetic and gorgeous imagery.

#4 Prep and Post Work from The Wrestler

While this film features a beautiful tragedy for its finale, the film does an amazing job as humanizing the larger than life performers of professional wrestling as Randy "The Ram" Robinson (Mickey Rouke) prepares and recovers from his matches. Beforehand he goes over his routine, hides blades in his costume, tends his arms pads. And after he ices every inch of his body and looks for drugs to help him maintain muscle or recover. This humanity is key to the film's story and perfectly captures Randy's commitment to his craft, even when he's at rock bottom.

#3 Clubbing from Black Swan

It was almost impossible to pick a single scene from this movie, be it Nina's amazing final performance as the Black Swan or the first time we see Nina's reflect in the mirror turn. Still nothing summarizes the Nina's conflict between repression and passion  than her night of clubbing with her rival Lily. Despite plenty of animosity on Nina's part, she finally gives in to Lily's requests and joins her co-hort for a night of drinking, drugs, and intense hanky panky.

While the sequence is noteworthy for its sexual intensity, something Nina has been repressing for the entire film, it still mixes the combination of warped reality and Nina's dual nature perfectly.

And the rug-pull reveal that it was all in Nina's mind towards the film's end? Devastating.

#2 The Monologue from Requiem for a Dream

If you need any proof about why Ellen Burstyn was nominated for an Oscar for this performance, look no further than this gut-punch of a monologue. In it, the dillusional and drug-addled Sara tells her son her simple but unobtainable life goal. While the rest of the is full of depraved extremes and grotesque horrors, this is its most tragic moment.

#1 Creation from Noah

While Noah deliberately varies from scripture in favor of spectacle and psychological drama, the film picks a perfect hybrid as Noah tells the Genesis version of creation. Beginning with the big bang and moving to the planet's formation and the evolution that eventually led to humankind, eons of change are displayed goregeous in a perfect mixture of scientific theory and scripture as metaphor.

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