Peter Quill's Parentage

It's not ground-breaking  to say that I enjoyed James Gunn's Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. The movie is a massive box office and critical success with all of the memes, merchandise, and analysis videos a creator could ever want. In my own review, I noted that the movie is heavier than its predecessor since it eschews bigger and badder set-pieces in favor of plumbing the character's emotional depths for deeper revelations about family dynamics, the effects of abuse, and the lingering affects on adults with rough childhoods, all of which was summed up beautifully in a YouTube essay by Lindsay Ellis that I cannot stop watching.

As I watched this video and listened to Lindsay describe her personal conenction to the film, I noticed how Peter Quill's evolving view of his biological father Ego and adoptive father Yondu resonated with children from non-nuclear families (i.e. families involving adoptive or step-parents). So today we're going to live up to this blog's title, get self-indulgent, and look at how Peter Quill's reactions, memories and parents all make resonate to children with separated biological parents. So let's start with Quill's dearly departed mother.

Peter's Mom

The death of Peter's mother is the defining event of his life. Not only did his mother die shortly after Peter failed to honor her dying wish, a simple hand hold, but life as he knew it literally ended as Yondu arrived and raised him from his early teens into adulthood in galaxies far far away (as on the nose as metaphors about life being different after the death of a parent can be). 

This trauma has manifested in a multitude of ways, including the deifying of his mother (as people are apt to do about people who depart before we fully know them), an obsession/emotional attachment with the pop-culture and music she shared with him (he literally fights off a team of prison guards to get his walkman and mixtape back), and guilt.

While I completely agree that Peter is in a state of arrested development, as indicated by his general immaturity, and his child-like selfishness, this undercurrent of guilt surrounding his greatest failure is one of the reasons Peter is an emotionally distant self-involved man-boy. He's doesn't feel like he deserves real emotional connections. 

This is part of the reason Peter only opens his mother's final gift, the second mixtape, after he's stopped a genocidal maniac and acted selflessly. Not only is it the final gift his mother ever gave him, he finally feels like he deserves it.

There's also connections drawn between Peter accepting meaningful connections with his fellow Guardians, namely Gamora, as a means of righting his past wrongs. For instance, the first link in the chain that holds the infinity stone is Peter grabbing Gamora's hand as he flashes back to his mother's dying wish.

But Peter isn't over his mother's death, in large part because he was raised by someone equally emotionally stunted who also had the unenviable task of guiding a traumatized 12 year-old into adulthood.

Yondu (Before)

In the first film we don't know too much about Peter's life with Yondu, but we know it wasn't great. He lived in constant fear of being eaten by the crew, was surrounded by bounty hunters who react violently to empathy, and if Yondu's treatment of Peter once they're side by side is any indication, received regular physical harm. 

There are hints that Yondu has affection for Peter, namely his refusal to kill him despite numerous betrayals (a point which becomes his undoing in the second film), but as Lindsay Ellis' video indicates, he's unable to admit any emotional ties until everything comes crashing down. Peter also refuses to call Yondu his father by highlighting all of the abuses he suffered.

But it's also clear based on Peter's tactical competence, combat abilities, proficiency with firearms, and piloting skills, that Yondu's guidance has kept him alive throughout the years (more on this later).

If you've ever had to figure the new rules and whims of a new parent, had the difficulty of a step-parent who only communicates through authority, a parent who was afraid of revealing emotional attachment, or a new abusive parent this will feel quite familiar. You may sense that there's a connection, but indication outside of day to day providing and presence can be hard to come by due your combined hangups.

It makes you hungry for more substantial interaction, possibly with your biological parent, which leads us to Ego.

Ego

If you've seen the film, you know it takes Peter a long time to realize that his biological father, Ego, has evil ulterior motives behind his kindly exterior. And while it is frustrating to see this as an audience member when everything about Mantis' body language to Yondo's decision to keep Quill far away from him, or the fact that Ego only shows up once Peter demonstrates the ability to hold an Infinity Stone, are screaming "something is wrong with this guy," Peter's reaction makes perfect sense for his emotional state.

Whether you're seeing them for the first time, or in limited intervals, seeing a parent who is removed from your everyday life is full of hopeful anticipation. It's a situation that breeds delightful fantasies of "how things will be once they get here." And it's not like your mom or dad will try to explain to you that maybe your other parent is a massive jackass or the complicated history of why they are no longer together. Peter, though seemingly mad at first, is clearly experiencing something similar and has no reason to believe Ego is evil. Yondu never explained why he took Peter in and his mother said his father was a mystical being made of starlight.

Yes Peter is initially hesitant, since he still holds bitterness and guilt about his mother dying alone, growing up without a dad (at least that's how he views it at this moment), and is cautious about forging new connections. But after a push from Gamora (a stand-in for the emotional connection with his mother) tells him how much it will mean to him, Peter agrees.

Thus when Ego arrives with stories about his mom, shows him new things about himself he never knew, and even has a game of catch he almost certainly never had with Yondu, Peter believes he's found a missing piece of himself. The best personal example I have of this is how any of my friends who met my Dad or his side of the family immediately said that I made more sense as a person. Or when I told my teachers after parent teacher conferences who mentioned that I "didn't look like my dad (my step-dad)." It's not something you notice as different until another person or situation highlights it. As such, there's something inherently infatuating about seeing your other birth parent and any attempts to call their motives into question will get a defensive response.

It's one of the many reasons Peter has such a negative reaction to Gamora's justified suspicions. "Why wouldn't you want me to be happy and feel special with my long lost dad?!" he seems to say.  Which emotionally compromised Peter or not, is still hurtful to Gamora, who is removed enough to know something's wrong before Ego shows his true colors.

Unfortunately like many biological parents, Ego's reasons for reaching out are ultimately self-serving. I should be clear, that not every parent separated by divorce is a self-involved jerk. There are countless moms and dads that love their children very much, spend as much time with them as possible, and make wonderful contributions to their lives. I'm lucky to have four incredibly supportive parents in my life. However, there are those that only reach out to make themselves feel good, and Ego is all of their faults in a murderous package. Like a hydra of all the deadbeat parent cliches you've ever seen in a movie or sitcom.

Starting from his apparent rescue of the Milano, every move by Ego is carefully planned to reel Peter in and use him for his purposes. Ego panders to Peter's ego and very real need for parental love and approval, but it's not for Peter's sake. He shows up after a lifetime of neglect to help. He placates Peter's own ego by saying everyone's heard of Star-Lord. He shows him his home, plays catch with him, and tells him that he's powerful and special, words Peter has been waiting to hear his entire life. Even if he is fully aware that this all hollow coming from someone he's never known, Peter wants this connection to be real.

Which is why the reveal that Peter was one of many children Ego had planted across the galaxy and that Ego wants to use his power to remake the galaxy in his image, has such a disorienting affect on Peter. Like a small child who wants to please his parent but is still hurt by their actions, Peter seems genuinely torn between his self-made family, the horrifying information presented by his father, and a desire to please him.

That is until Ego reveals that he's responsible for the death of Peter's mother.

I think a lot of people viewed this reveal as somewhat...stupid from a logical stand point. His name is Ego, but it should be a given that telling your son that you killed his mom won't go over well. However, Ego's belief that Peter will understand his thinking fits with the dissosance between a child and an self-involved absentee parent. In a sitcom, this same character would suggest that they go to a baseball game together, when the child doesn't even know the sport. They like it and understand it, so their kid must feel the same way. To Ego's mind, Peter will undestand his thinking because Peter is his son. Why wouldn't he want to go see the Dodgers play?

But the audience knows a rageful response is coming. Not just because Peter loved his mom. But because everything in his life that's made him an incomplete person, from his failure to hold his mom's hand and the guilt attached, to Yondu's abusive parenting, or even the end of his life on earth are all because of Ego's...ego. And like a furious twelve-year old who simply wants the life and mother that were stolen from him, Peter impulsively lashes out like Ignigo Montoya and attempts to blow Ego away.

Yondu (After)

I have a great deal of sympathy for divorced parents who received primary custody of their children and any step-parents that jump into primary parenting duties. Not only because being a full-time parent is tough work, and this literally happened in my life, but it also means that you spend a lot of time being the "bad guy." If you're a single parent and your former partner arrives on weekends and takes your child out to parks, gives them junk food, and buys them gifts, while you have to force them to eat veggies every night, it's easy to guess who the child thinks is more "fun." In Yondu's case Peter's toughest years all came under Yondu's harsh tutelage while his mother remained "an angel" that passed too soon. How could Yondu ever compare?

This is a disconnect that you tend not to realize until:

• You've grown enough to have perspective
• You experience something similar with your own children
• Or said parent is taken from you before their time

This last element is one of the most powerful because it typically reveals of lot of selfless behavior that you either didn't know about or took for granted. People and memories come out of the woodwork at times like this.

For Yondu, taking in Peter and truly acting as a parent is his source of redemption. In the first film, we learn that Yondu was supposed to deliver Peter to Ego but decided not to because "that guy was a jackass!" It's a flippant remark, but it gives us the first hint that this was a protective move on Yondu's part.

In the second film Yondu's parentage gets a new wrinkle. As the film progresses, we discover that Yondu fell out of favor with the other Ravagers, including his own adoptive father, by trafficking children to Ego that were subsequently killed by Ego's test of their powers. And yet, despite having been adandoned by his clan, Yondu decided to save Peter from the same fate and raised him amongst the Ravagers. The only explanation for this, considering Ego's powers and that the Ravagers have already cast him out, is purely empathetic. He even says that after he learned about the deaths of the other children that he couldn't give Peter up. And that empathic act clearly grew into something akin to parenthood, even though Yondu can't admit it until he's hit rock-bottom (again see Lindsay Ellis' video).

But this information is brand new to Peter, who only discovers what Yondu saved him from right before Yondu crashes a ship into Ego and joins the fight to stop Ego's galaxy-wide destruction.

It's no accident that Peter then spends much of his time in the subsequent battle fighting alongside Yondu, works out his frustrations with his childhood, and ultimately turns the tide by using Yondu's advice and tapping into his emotions via memories (including Yondu teaching him how to shoot). It's the film's and Peter's first visual achknowledgement that Yondu was shaping force in Peter's life. Even moments like Peter telling Yondu that Mary Poppins is cool, instead of a female British nanny, shows a rapidly evovling perspective on Peter's part.

Granted, this is all pales in comparison to Yondu's selfless sacrifice to save Peter's life. I've heard this called "unearned" or that Yondu doesn't truly redeem himself, and again I think this cheapens the emotional connections within the film. This is the moment where Yondu fully embraces his role as a parent, not simply by calling Peter "my boy" but also by doing everything in his power to protect him. And it's clear in this gut-wrenching death and the tear-inducing eulogy Peter realizes it too. The bitterness about his rough upbringing fades away as he realizes how much Yondu shaped him into who he is and what his sacrifice means in a single line, "I had a pretty cool dad."

This is perfectly summed up by one of Peter's final moments in the film as he listen to Cat Stevens' "Father and Son." The song choice is admittedly on the nose, but the fact that Peter is listening to pop music on a device from Yondu (something he associates with his mother) is a symbolic merger of Peter's two "true" parents. The moment even extends to Peter's own unconventional parentage as Baby Groot snuggles up to listen in and lean on Peter's side.

And in fitting fashion, Yondu's decision to finally embrace his parentage of Peter also means forgiveness from the family that adopted him, the Ravagers. As Stallone says as they set off a space firework funeral pire "He didn't let us down."

Why It Resonates: Choice & Effort

As I indicated earlier, I've had one of the best case scenarios for divorced parents. I have four excellent parents that are all supportive and great in differing ways. In fact, that's why Guardians Vol. 2 presentation and acceptance of non-traditional parentage resonated so strongly with me. Because all four of these individuals made a choice to make a meaningful impact on my life. 

And ultimately it's why I understand why Peter accepts Yondu as his father: he chose to be one. Rough as it may have been, Yondu saved Peter from a parasite so he could become something better. Ego was Peter's father, but Yondu chose to be his daddy.